May Peace Be With You, Alicia!
Today at our art therapy session, our theme is dealing with death and grief. I drew a girl with a kite with watercolor – a symbol I use a lot, which will be the main character of my children’s book. I just realize watercolor is a hard medium, because you have to know exactly what you are doing…Unlike acrylic/oil painting, you can cover your mistakes with another layer. Watercolor, you have to be precise and bold at the same time, similar to Chinese ink painting. I checked out some books on watercolors, going to work with watercolor more often.
A person I met, Alicia, when I started Art for Recovery Program is near the end of her life. She has been dealing with cancer for the past 8 years. She’s only 27 years old. She has a rare cancer, which grows out of blood vessels. It’s impossible to surgically remove it, because she would bleed to death. It spreads to her hip, lungs and brain. She has been a fighter. She has been writing her story against cancer on a local newspaper for a few years, which has won her a writing award. However, her condition worsened, and she chose to deal with it privately.
I was shocked to find out that her condition is so bad that she could pass away at any moment. Now all that is sustaining her life is drug and oxygen tank.  I am close to her in age. It’s hard to see someone so youthful dying. All these about her, I only learned recently – in the last days of her life. I remember what Cindy said when all of us were grieving for Alicia: “When people die, our relationship with them continue.” Alicia, you will be missed. May peace be with you!
Seeing people dying makes me appreciate the physical strength and quality of life that I have. Despite the migraines and ringing in my ears at times. Â I’m cancer free. I’m getting back to live a normal life. I don’t know what kind of health issues I encounter in the future. But everyone in some way or another would experience that issue. We are mortal beings. What I need to focus on right now is taking care of myself, surrounding myself with positive and supportive people that align with my vision, being grateful of what I have, keeping things balanced, cultivating my dreams and passions, the last but not the least, is not to be so harsh on myself – thus I can be more gentle and kind to others.
I always feel the art therapy room a safe place for me to express myself, whatever I feel, joy, sadness, and fear…I show up and sit among others and make art. Just being there makes me feel grounded. No matter how crappy I feel physically, once I get there I feel at home and comfortable. I’m grateful to have met the kindest people, who are full of wonderful spirits. Â We share good laughs and heartfelt conversations about life. I would never have the opportunity to meet them and learn so many things from them. Each of them feels like part of a family to me and has given great strength during my journey. I hope I can keep my Wednesday open so I can continue going to the workshop.
A poem Greg's ex wife who passed away wrote when she was fighting cancer...
April 15 2010 12:20 am | Diary